Big Red, Known as Medium Red in 1983

BTS 1983
Grandmother and Publicist to Little Red Riding Hood

In the new film I'm played by Julie Christie!

The following is best enjoyed by two people, one younger and one older.

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut is the story of Little Red Riding Hood written using English words, but never the correct ones, in the genre called homophonic transformation.

Howard L. Chace, a professor of French, wrote it in 1940 to demonstrate that the intonation of spoken English is almost as important to the meaning as the words themselves. It was first published in Gene Sherman's "Cityside" column in the Los Angeles Times in 1953, reprinted in the San Francisco Chronicle and in the first issue of Sports Illustrated in 1954.[1][2]

After Arthur Godfrey read "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut" on one of his programs, the heightened interest led to the publication of Chace's stories and nursery rhymes in Anguish Languish (Prentice-Hall, 1956), illustrated by Hal Doremus.

In "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut", a single word replaces several in the correct version (e.g., "evanescent" from "if it isn't"), and sometimes several words replace one longer word ("on forger nut" for "unfortunate"). Every word can be found in most collegiate dictionaries, with the exception of "icer" (which is in Merriam-Webster's Unabridged).

Although written with a serious purpose in mind, the story's humorous aspects cannot be ignored, especially with Chace's additions of phrases not in the traditional story ("A nervous sausage bag ice!" for "I never saw such big eyes!") and the abrupt, non-traditional ending.

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut by Howard L. Chace (1940)

Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage honor itch offer lodge dock florist. Disc ladle gull orphan worry ladle cluck wetter putty ladle rat hut, end fur disc raisin pimple colder ladle rat rotten hut.

Wan moaning rat rotten hut’s murder colder inset:
“Ladle rat rotten hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter and shirker cockles. Tick disc ladle basking tudor cordage offer groin murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake, dun stopper laundry wrote, and yonder nor sorghum stenches dun stopper torque wet strainers.”

“Hoe-cake. Murder,” resplendent ladle rat rotten, end tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft. Honor wrote tudor cordage offer groin murder, ladle rat rotten hut mitten anomalous woof.

“Wail, wail, wail,” set disc wicket woof, “evanescent ladle rat rotten hut! Wares or putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?”

Armor goring tumor groin murder’s,” reprisal ladle gull. “Grammar’s seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter and shirker cockles.”

“O hoe! Heifer blessing woke,” setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, “”Oil tickle shirt court tudor cordage offer groin murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den—O bore!”

Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, end whinny retched a cordage offer groin murder, pick dinner window an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh disc abdominal woof lipped honor betting adder rope. Any pool dawn a groin murder’s nut cup and gnat gun, any curdle dope inner bet.

Inner ladle wile ladle rat rotten hut a raft attar cordage an ranker dough bell. “Comb ink, sweat hard,” setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse. Ladle rat rotten hut entity bet rum end stud buyer groin murder’s bet.

“Oh grammar,” crater ladle gull. “Wart bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!” “Buttered lucky chew whiff, doling,” whiskered disc ratchet woof, wetter wicket small.

“Oh, grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!”

“Buttered small your whiff,” inserter woof, ants mouse waddling.

“Oh grammar, water bag mousey gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!”

Daze worry on forger nut gull’s lest warts. Oil offer sodden throne offer carvers and sprinkling otter bet, disc curl and bloat Thursday woof ceased pore ladle rat rotten hut an garbled erupt.

Mural: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut Translation by BTS

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived with her mother in a little cottage on the edge of a large dark forest. This little girl often wore a little cloak with a pretty little red hat, and for this reason people called her Little Red Riding Hood.

One morning Red Riding Hood’s mother called her and said: “Little Red Riding Hood, here is a little basket with some bread and butter and sugar cookies. Take this little basket to the cottage of grandmother who lives on the other side of the forest. Shake a leg, don’t stop along the road, and under no circumstances don’t stop to talk with strangers.”

“Okay. Mother,” responded Little Red Riding, and took a little basket and started off. On the road to the cottage of her grandmother, Little Red Riding Hood met an enormous wolf.

“Well, well, well,” said this wicked wolf, “if it isn’t Little Red Riding Hood! Where’s our pretty little girl going with her little basket?”

I’m going to my grandmother’s,” replied the little girl. “Gramma’s sick in bed. I’m taking her some bread and butter and sugar cookies.”

“Oh ho! Have a pleasant walk,” said the wicked wolf, but he thought to himself, “I’ll take this short cut to the cottage of her grandmother. I’ll catch up with her later, and then—Oh boy!”

So the wicked wolf took a short cut, and when he reached the cottage of her grandmother, peeked in her window and saw that poor old woman was lying in her bed. In a flash this abominable wolf leaped on her bed and ate her up. And he put on a grandmother’s night cap and night gown, and he curled up in her bed.

In a little while Little Red Riding Hood arrived at the cottage and rang the door. “Come in, sweet heart,” said the wicked wolf, disguising his voice. Little Red Riding Hood entered the bedroom and stood by her grandmother’s bed.

“Oh gramma,” cried the little girl. “What big eyes you’ve got! I never saw such big eyes!” “Better to look at you, darling,” whispered this wretched wolf, with a wicked smile.

“Oh, gramma, what a big nose! A never saw such an enormous proboscis !”

“Better to smell you with,” answered the wolf, his mouth watering.

“Oh grammar, what a big mouth you’ve got! I never saw such a big mouth!”

These were the unfortunate girl’s last words. All of a sudden throwing off the covers and springing out of bed, this cruel and bloodthirsty wolf seized poor Little Red Riding Hood and gobbled her up.

Moral: Under no circumstances should little girls stop and talk with strangers.